Mother
by Amei-san
Summary: What's haunting Yami no Malik... something he yearns for but he will never have... OneShot Rated PG13


Mother

**Mother**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, sad to say, all characters are copyrighted to their respectful owner. Thank you.

This fic is rated P13+ or whatever, there is swearing and a little violence so yeah, read at your own risk!

**Amei:** Ok geez this is an old fic, but I have re-edited it and I'm… ok with what I have. Feedback would be wonderful, thank you. I chose to just call him Yami no Malik, just for a deeper effect, if this story confuses you… it was just some crack idea I got, sorry to make your brains hurt!

* * *

The winds rolled over the sandy dunes of the peaceful desert serene, as a figure wrapped in darkness slowly walked along the sands, his lightless violet eyes were emotionless and no expression was readable upon his face. The winds blew through his ashen blonde hair, which was spiked up dangerously.

He did not seem to mind the chill in the air, as it did not bother him in the least. The figure seemed to be in deep thought, perhaps that's why he was so silent.

Thinking to himself, about someone, a certain someone whom he never had and never will have…

_...A mother_.

Yami no Malik continued on through the barren desert as the bands of golden jewelry glittered upon his finely tanned skin. He cursed his restless mind for it would not cease its endless thinking. He spoke out to the dead quiet land, as if it would respond just for him.

"Mother, oh mother why do I think of you when you don't even exist. I' am forever reminded of the nothingness I was born from and I will forever be reminded of you, the mother I will never have. Why is that I cannot stop thinking about you? Mother, speak to me!"

No reply came to his ears. He growled lowly and felt the anger burn deep inside himself. He climbed up a massive hill of sand and soon sought refuge in a small cavern of cacti trees. He did not mind the pain they caused him for he was still in deep thought.

"Why am I doomed to still think of this nonexistent woman? She is not real, I have more important things to think about, like I' am alive, I can cause pain without any remorse, and I do need to find my way out of this wasteland! I must stop thinking of this so called _Mother_. But how can I when she is one of the many constant thoughts running through my mind, along with so many other things."

He sighed heavily, while the winds played with his hair and whispered into his ear, as if telling him nothing but lies, to which seemed to please him so. He had almost forgotten about his mind and its thoughts, all until he had slumped over and fell asleep. That's when the dreams began and they had a message for him. A little something about the mother he never had. Again his mind wanted to continually remind him of her.

In his dreams he found himself all alone, as usual. He glanced around the darkness until his gaze fell upon a mysterious woman standing off in the distance. Curious, he made his way towards her. Smirking slightly he grabbed hold of her arm, spinning her around to see if she had fear in her eyes, but to his surprise this woman had no face. He let out an angry howl; as he stared at her, the fury in his eyes blazing brightly.

"Who or what are you and why are you here?" He snapped before realizing, since she had no face then perhaps she couldn't talk. Yet the big shock was when she DID speak. The almost hollow-like voice, it sent chills down his spine making him very uncomfortable.

"Me?" She said slowly, her voice crackled making it sound rough and harsh. "My dear you must be losing your mind. I'm your mother!" Yami no Malik did not like that answer not at all. He clenched his shaking fists and glared at her. "You are _not _my mother I have _no_ mother damn it!" As he moved to strike her, he suddenly woke up with a start. Cursing to himself he rose and left his little refuge.

Back to wandering the desert for him it seemed. All the while he was thinking about that faceless woman and the words she had spoken. He was not pleased. Ra began to rise in the east; the warm rays washed over his figure while the winds blew around him and the sands shifted under his feet. The sky began to turn a light pink in color at this time. Yami no Malik merely ignored it, still thinking to himself.

"Why do I even care, it was nothing but a fucking dream one that I will never have again! Yet... what she said it felt as if she really had spoken those words to me." He slapped himself across the face. "Enough with this bullshit, I have bigger things to be worrying about then some stupid woman saying she is my _mother!_"

He continued on his way. Ra was soon bearing down upon him in it's full glory. Beads of sweat rolled off his skin but he walked on. As a few hours slowly passed along he began to hear that voice again. His weary mind, being as tired as it was, began to register the words being spoken. He looked around for the owner.

"Who's there? Show yourself to me now or there'll be hell to pay!" He smirked to himself, glancing all around until his gaze fell upon a dark figure way off in the distance. He scowled. "What the hell?" Quickly he began walking towards the strange figure.

All the while he could hear her whispering to him. "That's it boy, come to your mother."

He stopped dead in his tracks, the voice was so familiar, it... it was the faceless woman from his dream! He did not move another inch. "Show yourself you witch, I will not take another step. You are not my fucking mother so enough with your lies!"

"Oh but I am your mother Malik-kun," she cooed to him. "I am!"

He would not fall for this; he must be losing his mind he thought. Nothing was making any sense right now. He fell to his knees, not wanting to believe another word this liar of a woman was saying. As he closed his eyes memories began to play for him

Painful memories, ones that not even the great psychopath himself wanted to remember.

--

The night was dark and all he can feel is the anger pulsing through his veins. His heart beat in his chest, while evil thoughts were being forced into his mind. The only purpose of his life was to kill, to hate, to be nothing but a mere monster.

When that day came, the day he found himself in the real world for the first time, he had one brief moment to whisper something, which no one but himself could hear, before the evil thoughts took over. He spoke softly to the brief nothingness around him.

"_Mother?_"

When his task of killing was complete, he was forced back into the darkness alone in his own world. All the while he was subjected to the anger, jealousy and hate that one boy had towards a certain Pharaoh.

Yami no Malik grew within the darkness, it was his only home. He was never truly free; all he was allowed to do was take in the emotions of hate and spite, nothing more nothing less.

He was all alone and through that time he kept deep in his mind the thoughts of his never existent mother. Where these thoughts came from are quite simple, little silent memories from his host slipped through the cracks mingling with the dark emotions, which Yami no Malik took in without realizing it.

He mourned for a mother in his own way, by growing stronger. When he heard the outside world from the confinement of his hosts mind, he could hear children crying and the women who soothed them. He then longed for his own kind of mother. Oh but he knew she was not real, just a false idol created from his ever growing insanity.

Yet some how he believed she was real. She just had to be real. He continued to mourn for her, while still taking in the hate and other emotions, all the while still growing stronger with the help of the boy he resided in.

With no mother to confront him, no mother to hold him, no love, no happiness, and nothing but hurtful feelings and the darkness all around him. Yami no Malik was ready to be free!

When the day came for his glorious triumph over the Pharaoh, he was back in the real world once again. He had pushed himself out from the darkness, freedom at last he thought.

"_Mother I am free_."

When his gaze fell upon the Pharaoh and all the others, he could not help but smirk, still he wondered, where **SHE** was.

When he left the small group to fuss of the events of his arrival he wandered down the hall of the blimp. "Mother." He called out to no one. "Mother, I' am finally here!"

Silence was all that greeted him. He stood there in the empty room, his own personal thoughts co-mingling with the evil plans of his sick twisted nature. Glancing at the mirror; he saw upon his forehead was the blazing eye of Horus. His birth mark.

He cried bitter tears of anger when he realized just what he was. The anguish inside him and the rage that ran through his veins, mingling with the jealousy and spite that was always on his mind, this blinded him into an emotional fury.

"Mother, how could you do this to me?" He screamed out angrily. "You're... not even... real! How… c-can this be?"

He pounded his fists upon the mirror, his eyes full of tears. "I hate you mother! I really do! You're not real and yet I am alive. All those long lonely days being fed those hateful thoughts and I come to realize that I need you and you were not there to comfort me ever. NO you where _never_ there!"

He then slammed his fists through the reflective glass, blinded by so many emotions. "Mother, I curse you, may a terrible illness fall upon you... Mother dear may you die slowly and painfully!"

--

After that moment of angst he never spoke of, or thought of his non-existent mother again, until now while he was in the desert wandering all alone with this faceless woman now taunting him.

Getting to his feet he brushed the invisible tears from his eyes. "You bitch, I curse you, leave me alone and let a million sicknesses' fall upon your worthless soul. Mother I hate you... _I hate you!_"

In the blink of an eye he found himself speaking to no one. The faceless woman was nothing but a mirage, another trick of his mind. He swore loudly and continued walking through the hot barren desert. Still thinking about all of what he had just gone through, the memories, the pain, and the words that echoed in his skull.

When he finally stopped to rest he had made it to a small village; where he soon knelt by a small pond of clean water. Staring down upon his reflection he hit the water and then his hand shot up to run his fingers over his forehead his birth mark still there. He growled.

"Mother, oh how I hate you because you are not real and yet... you have created me or this is what my mind truly thinks. You disgust me to no end Mother. I hate you and I hate myself; I hate who I am!"

He pulled a dagger from his pocket. Staring down at the water that was now calm, he felt the animosity welling inside; it was boiling in his blood, killing him slowly. He placed the tip of the dagger on his forehead and began to dig through the eye of Horus, trying to erase it off his skin.

When the deed was done the water before him was now tainted red with his blood. He smirked victoriously as a deep chill run down his spine. He now felt weak and ill, but also he felt good. Revenge upon the mother he never had.

Perhaps this will teach her! As he collapsed upon the ground, the dagger fell into the water as the blood rolled down his forehead collecting at the edge of the water. Yami no Malik had a smirk upon his lips.

His vision now was fading he could sense a presence of a figure standing beside him. The faceless woman had returned and she was now kneeling by his side and whispering to him, something he wanted to hear, something that made that smirk into a smile. "I' am your mother Malik-kun... the one who was never around when you needed me, the one who isn't even real. Let me tell you something my child, I'm suffering just as much as you are."

Yami no Malik smirked again. _Perfect._ He thought, she will drown in her suffering and then maybe he will let himself die as well. Reaching up weakly to grab her but his hand fell to his side. She was not there. No of course she wasn't there she wasn't real! He sat up carefully, the blood from his wound had stopped and he now felt a scar go across his birth mark. This angered him.

"Why can't I just die already?" He felt weary. No he needed to stop all this thinking, he had no mother it was just some pitiful dream all thanks to his host, it was all his fault the idea even existed in his mind at all.

He sighed heavily. No one was ever really there, a mother it was just a pigment of his imagination. She will never be real and maybe he might someday stop thinking about her. He bowed his head and sobbed quietly. The wind blew all around him and he stared up at the sky, wiping his eyes. Slowly clenching his fists he glared at the clouds that gathered over the sun.

He felt more alone then ever but he knew this feeling all to well. Closing his eyes he felt someone standing by his side. No one was there, no one at all of course but in his head he knew who he wanted it be. His non-existent mother was standing there with him.

Yami no Malik was on the move again, traveling endlessly through the harsh desolate lands, always looking to the sky, muttering to himself every so often. "Mother, give me strength."

With that he kept on going. The wind, Ra and moon his only company and with the feeling of his 'mother' always by his side and on his mind it gave him motivation to keep on living.

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**Amei:** Wow that was very complicated… I'm sorry if your brains all turned to mush. If you are still confused… I'm sorry I wrote this for myself… so it makes sense to me ….. Uh yeah! Thanks for reading, feedback would be nice!


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